Agh! It's 2am. It's so busy out here tonight, people are outside the just closed bars, trying to flag cabs, or still trying for the last minute hookup.
I'm tired. I really did make enough money to just go home right now.
Oh there's one at Charmer's! "Hey just a minute, OK?", says a guy talking to two women. "OK". I sit there in my car while a dyke fiddles with the lock on a bike chained to a pole. It looks like the guy and girls all know each other. The dyke is looking right at me. OK, I've seen her before. She has her salt and pepper hair in a low tail; not making a lot of progress with the bike. I give her the eyebrow raise. I think I took her and some drunk chick home once.
I start to edge away, because no one is paying attention. "No. Hey wait, I just need to find out where these girls are going. Thanks." "Hey how much would it cost to take these girls to Elk Grove?" "Where in Elk Grove?" "Sheldon." "I'll do it for 40 flat." I just want to get this last one, and go home.
They all pile in; girl in front, guy and smaller girl in back. Now they want to go to West Sac. I flip on the meter. "I thought you lived in Auburn!" "I do: I'm staying with someone in West Sac. I don't want to drive all the way to Auburn tonight." "Well, we have to go home tonight." "I know. I need to get home first. I already paid the cab driver to take you home, as soon as she drops me off." "k."
It gets so very quiet. I have the radio on, but barely audible.
I'm hearing fabric moving over the seats. Little tiny giggles. I flip my mirror up. I don't want to see something that will make me grin. They can see me grin from the back, if they look up into my mirror.
I'm driving over surface streets, stopping at it seems like every light there is from here to there. The girl in front says a few words to her friend, and gets no response. She won't look back, just sort of turns her head a little, and stops. She looks at me..... And I'm not gonna look. She finally asks: "Michelle?, Are you OK?" No answer. She asks again. Michelle says she's fine, but front chick won't look back.
We get over the I Street Bridge, and front chick slowly turns her head to the back. "Oh my god! Michelle!". Then she turns her face forward again, and repeats it. No sound at all from the back, till I get to an intersection, and the guy starts to give me detailed directions.
So we go through a coded gate, with the girls totally silent, and the guy leading me up onto a levee, with huge newer houses on one side. We go all the way to the end of the row of houses, and guy tells me to turn around and park in front. There's a motorcycle in front of the garage. I guess that's what he didn't want to drive to Auburn. Suddenly front girl yells: "Oh my god Michelle! He's married!" Guy says he isn't, and Michelle says nothing, till she comes up with: "We have to go home! How are we going to get home? I don't even know where we are!" I had to tell her her ride to Elk Grove was paid for. So they both jump in the back seat, and tell me to get them out of there, and to find them a place to pee. I said I would find them a gas station, but they want to stop right now. So I did, A house and a half from Auburn guy. They both got out and squatted right next to the right back door, Their skirts were short enough they didn't even need to move them up. Auburn guy comes running back exclaiming that he'd never seen a woman pee before. I'm skeptical. He looks about 30. They finish peeing, and I hand the guy my container of baby wipes. They did have to pull the skirts back down once they were done.
I made a mental note not to forget the Lysol dousing at shift's end. And a good vacuuming too.
Wondering if I should be surprised they talked about their latest stalkers all the way to Elk Grove.
And I shouldn't have been surprised the dispatcher had a deep south for me once I told him I'd cleared in Elk Grove. Someone needed a ride home from the hospital. No drama............They're mellow when they're medicated.
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